Committed/marital love is not the only love which makes life optimally fulfilled, however, by the time you reach this level of love, you have experienced most other types of love, therefore, you can more appreciate the whole of love; unless you have not gotten a handle on the intricate design of love, or, you have committed/married too young, both of which, so many of us experience. However, even in making mistakes in, or, mistaking love, we grow/learn/advance in the process, that eventually, we find a perfect connection with love...
Besides love, or better yet, in the center of committed/marital love should be a solid foundation, which I will call partnership, implies what the word means: the state of being a partner, meaning participation;
a relationship resembling a legal partnership and usually involving close cooperation between parties having specified and joint rights and responsibilities...
In a partnership, it would seem that each person would be willing to uphold their responsibility, that the partnership remains strong, secure, and productive to life, and to love, think? Unfortunately, it seems that not many people understand the basis of a partnership, otherwise, there would not be so many broken relationships/marriages, or, is it that people do not understand responsibility in its entirety???This is one reason I strongly advise becoming friends first, and then, developing into more, for, you then have the threads already in place which will become the rope which will be what you cling to when times are less than perfect. In having a friend as a lover, spouse/partner, you know each other without the frills, so to speak. When we become friends first, we are more natural with each other, when we are dating first, without becoming friends, we are more prone to display the good sides of our personality/character/mentality, which leaves lots of undisclosed truths to learn about later, which, if you rush into something, can leave you blown away, later on, I know this for sure, more than you could imagine...
A happy relationship/marriage requires many things, but, mostly, it requires honesty, respect, consideration, compassion, sensitivity, understanding, forgiveness, honor, caring, sharing, openness, the ability to give and take, a sense of humor, a sense of fun, communication, and the acceptance, as well as the action of responsibility, to self, and to partner, along with willingness to acknowledge when wrong/mistaken/misguided...
Hey, love itself is way less confusing than WE are, that is for sure. We are so stuck in certain habits (some inherited, some self-devised, some learned) of thinking, attitudes, and actions, that we find it very difficult to grow beyond such, which can create
lots of rocking in the boat, know what I mean???
If you want true love, one which lasts eternally, it requires self-analysis, then, lots of work, both in areas of the internal person, and giving the best of yourself to the other person. If you have taken your time, if you have carefully chosen your partner, then, you have set the standards for the direction the two of you will travel as one, with the understanding, and, implementation, of the words
love, partnership, and responsibility, which through direct/indirect communication, will carry you through time, mostly happy. Life is gonna through some curves your way, but, if you are securely based on the standards stated above, you are gonna survive, all the closer, all the stronger, all the more in love....
2006-2009©
